I’ve started this so many times now and have rarely gotten further than a few sentences. Maybe this is the one that I’m happy with.
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My back story is easy and I’ve written enough about it so I’ll shorten it for those who don’t know me.
From April 2014 to April 2015 I trained for and ran the London Marathon. I had never run before, smoked like a chimney and had a diet that would scare a hungry rat. In those 360 days I stopped smoking, ate well and ran over 1000 miles. There were good days and bad days but I was supported and cheered on by my family and the Shubert family and by many friends new and old from around the world. Mission Impossible became Mission Possible.
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I continued to run for a few weeks after the marathon and then, suddenly I couldn’t run anymore. I had no energy, walking was an issue, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat. I woke up sweating, not a small sweat but enough that I could bath in it.
I decided to go and see my doctor, the same one, by the way, that had checked up on me from the very beginning of my journey and had done numerous blood works and other tests on a monthly basis.
You have diabetes, he told me. Your glucose level is literally off the charts and it was. His machine just registered “Hi” for high, obviously it wasn’t just being polite. My diet had been under control for months this couldn’t be happening. Sure I had the occasional doughnut but I’d earned a treat by running 6 miles or more. I wasn’t obese, I exercised, I ate well, this shouldn’t be happening to me.
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Cut out all sugar immediately he said and test your levels every 2 hours. A week goes by and the levels start to come down. I’m popping pills like there are going out of fashion and still no energy, it’s such a struggle to climb the stairs I start sleeping on the couch. And then 2 weeks after it all begins, I wake up unable to see. Effectively I’ve gone blind, everything is just a blur. I get some clothes on and very slowly make my way up to my doctors. Only 400 metres but it takes me over an hour. I have no phone or wallet because I couldn’t find them, and to be honest I’m now scared to death. A kind stranger helps me cross the road and into the surgery. My doctor does a quick glucose test and within minutes I’m being raced to Hospital in an Ambulance. I later find out that my glucose levels have crashed and the lens in my eyes have warped from the sudden change.
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I have seen specialist after specialist in the last few weeks and not one has come up with a satisfactory answer to why I suddenly developed diabetes. I have heard the words “This shouldn’t have happened, it makes no sense” so many times now but it did and I now have to live with it. One theory was that running the marathon somehow caused the diabetes to start.
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Yes, it’s classed as a disability but not a major one. Yes, it’s life changing but not in a major way. My body has adjusted well to oral medication and the new no sugar diet. I’ve even started running again, small distances for now, but it all helps. This isn’t something you can beat but I’m buggered if it’s going to beat me.
The few days when I lost my vision, I can’t say I lost my sight as it never went dark, were quite calming now I look back at them. No television, no computers, no internet, no Facebook. Just me sitting and waiting with the eye doctor’s words in my head. “Your vision should go back to normal soon” I realised that the word should didn’t worry me as I thought it would.
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My short time “in the dark” was time I spent thinking about those that live with disabilities, real disabilities, life changing disabilities and I was struck with awe again and again how they deal with these disabilities and their families deal with all the problems involved with caring for a disabled person.
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I have a half marathon to run in 4 weeks time and at the moment I can only run 5 kilometres before running out of energy, so I have no idea what’s going to happen.
For now, my eyes have returned to normal, my glucose levels are back to within normal parameters but I think that may be more down to medication than to my body repairing itself. Time will tell.